Wedding Update: The First Third.
We are just about 33.333333333 percent of the way through our engagement period. For the most part, wedding planning has been a surprisingly enjoyable process. We experienced an early stretch of frustration and stress in our quest for the perfect spot in which to wed, but once we found a suitable (if rather less mountainy than we'd have liked) location, the rest of it started falling into place nicely. With eight months to go, the status report is: Site - check; date - check; dress - check (my mom's!); officiant - check (my dad!); caterer - check; bridesmaid dresses - check; tuxes - check; florist - check; cake - check (oh. my. g-d. The Cake!); band - narrowed down to two; invitations - almost; ceremony - in progress.
Much remains to do, but we have oodles of time left to do it all, and it's still too early to tackle many of the little details. I am exceptionally fortunate to have a mother who lives 12 minutes away from me, has the time and inclination to take on most of the planning grunt work, and not only shares most of my taste and style leanings but also gives me veto power. I think I tell her pretty regularly just how much I appreciate all she is doing for us. In case I've forgotten: mom, you're amazing.
Planning a wedding at 34 feels different than I think it would have five or ten years ago. Mostly in ways I can't quite articulate, but that feel tangible and disconcerting to me. A couple of months ago, I invested in a back-breaking stack of wedding magazines, only to discover that they made me feel terribly inadequate about myself and my wedding. Plus, wedding porn seems to be all about the big white strapless ballgown and the 3-carat diamond ring, with barely a nod towards the institution of marriage and the realities of married life. I'm really excited about having a wedding. But I'm even more excited about being married to the love of my life, long after the party's over.
The glossies seem oblivious to the fact that weddings are (or should be) about marriage, not just tulle and jordan almonds. And every bride they feature seems to be blonde, 25, able-bodied, and Christian, marrying her male alt(a)r-ego and walking down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon. Which I am not. Happily, I've found a safe haven where brides like me can come together in independent-minded unity. Where ideas such as using wild-colored invitations and writing my own ceremony and playing unexpected processional music are met with approval and insight, and no one dismisses the decision to keep my last name as in any way "weakening my commitment" to my future husband.
We continue to search for ways to make the wedding ours, not always an easy task when the event will be so large, and there are so many people's needs and wants and interests to take into account. But we're getting there, and we're getting excited. Particularly after meeting one another's extended families this fall, we're pretty sure our wedding will be a hell of a good party.
Gentle Readers of this Blog: The blogger says I'm amazing, but in truth, SHE is the amazing one! It's a privilege to be involved in the wedding planning, and yes, it WILL be a great party, celebrating the union of an extraordinary young woman and an extraordinary young man - what could be bad!
Posted by: Mom | December 27, 2004 at 09:52 PM
Tee hee - I LOVE 'indibride'. The world has changed so much since Russell and I went down this road at an obscenely young age back in (gulp) '91...
You've just got to promise lots and lots of PHOTOS!!!!! Be shameless - your readers want to wallow.
Posted by: Liz | January 06, 2005 at 05:36 AM