Three Snapshots

One.

Last week. I join a friend to swim in the heated outdoor lap pool at her gym. We shiver on the endless walk from locker room to poolside, then feel the tingling warmth spread from toes to shoulders as we slip into the water. The shadows deepen and shift as the daylight fades and the underwater lights grow progressively brighter. A momentary chill nibbles at my elbow with each stroke.

Two.

Yesterday morning. 6:20 a.m. Two deer stand in the middle of the street, right in front of my house. I am in an endorphin fog on my way home from the gym and don't notice them until I'm just a few feet away. They stand alert, full of coiled energy. I stop in my tracks to admire them, unable to keep from smiling. They look at me for a moment or two, then bound away.

Three.

Tonight. 9:30 p.m. We leave the studio after our second dance lesson. We are buzzing with energy from the dancing, from holding each other close and learning to communicate with small motions and firm wrists. The night is perfect - crisp and cool but comfortable, with none of the past few weeks' persistent winds. We walk through downtown Boulder, coveting the charming (and insanely expensive) Victorian homes and cooking up plans for this summer's backyard transformation.

Comments

[Sean]

Hey Mad,
It's completely normal to freak out about your vision. It's scary shit. I STILL don't talk about it with my classmates and co-workers, and "fake it" whenever possible, and it IS hard to laugh off the "blind moments" that happen.
Everyone's experience differs, I guess, but it's really a progressive pain in the ass. I do use a cane sometimes, at this point, it's indispensible at night. The roller ones are a little less conspicuous, no Old Man Pew tapping, and they fold up when not needed. Just a safety device for those late night strolls. Every mark on mine is one less bruised shin or swollen ankle or sore gonad (well, you're safe there, but I digress).
Many people WILL act different around you if they see you as blind. I try to keep that number to a minimum because I'm freaking insecure about it too, and I hate the same questions I get over and over about it.
I know you'd rather not have comments about it, but judging from this last post, shit ain't all bad :)
Sean

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