My first blog post as a thirty-five-year-old.

Apparently, turning 35 traumatized me into silence. When midnight struck and November 23 became November 24, I half expected crow's feet to sprout at the corners of my eyes, saggage to suddenly strike my boobs, and streaks of gray to appear in my hair. But, in truth, 35 feels pretty much like the tail end of 34, except with new cross-country skis and a gorgeous shell-and-bead necklace made by my very talented husband.

Speaking of XCing, I am starting to get the hang of this skate-ski thing. It is by far the most physically strenuous activity I have ever attempted, but I'm slowly putting together the pieces of the required technique and, more important, really enjoying it. Most of the time, I have to stop every few minutes to gasp for air and pull my form back together. But when arms, legs, skis, poles, shoulders, knees, ankles, hips, and head all come together correctly, it's like the elusive feeling of "swing" I sought to achieve in my college crew days. I wasn't a particularly talented rower, but on the rare occasion when the boat hit swing, it felt like we could go forever; the perfect rhythm of the boat turned the searing pain in my lactic-acid-churning muscles and oxygen-deprived lungs into a dull hum of background noise.

In fact, we have yet to ride a chairlift this season, having missed last weekend’s powder dump for a trip to Atlanta for boundless nephewly giggles. Assuming I shake the bug that’s currently plaguing my upper respiratory system, I’ll strap on my tele skis for the first time this season on Saturday, for an overnight back-country hut trip with Steve’s office crowd. I’m looking forward to the trek, and to the post-ski wine and relaxation in the cozy hut. But I’m feeling a lot of anxiety and uncertainty about skiing on the "big mountains" this season.

At the end of last year, I was starting to feel really nervous on the downhill slopes, particularly in areas with heavy snowboarder traffic. Both cross-country and back-country skiing allow me to focus on the physical effort, rather than the visual challenge, while alpine skiing down a crowded run requires me to be hyper-vigilant about what I can and can’t see. It’s stressful, and I’ve become increasingly afraid that I’m going to hurt myself or someone else because of my vision loss.

We likely won’t do any en piste telemarking until January. This gives me some time to think about what, if anything, I want to do different this season. I might start wearing an orange Blind Skier vest, if only so that other skiers will give me a wider berth. Wearing the vest will require that I suck up a fair amount of pride, of course, but if pride goeth before a fall, that’s an even better reason for me to get over it.

On an unrelated note, Congress is once again threatening to tighten the habeas reins, making it even more difficult for prisoners to obtain relief for serious constitutional errors in their convictions and detention. I have plenty of opinions on this matter, most of which are unsuitable for public consumption, but this piece by Slate's Emily Bazelon offers a good overview and reflects many of my own views on the issue.

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