As I was putting my grown-up face on at the gym this morning, my eyes caught on a young woman whose image appeared in the mirror behind me. The very fact that I thought of her as a "young woman" portended of my observations to come, which left me feeling even older than I do when someone refers to me as "lady" (e.g., "Hey, lady, watch where you're going!") or "ma'am" (ugh -- a knife-blade across the jugular of my youth).
This girl appeared to be in her early 20s and rather pretty. As I glanced in the mirror, I watched her don a pair of sloppy, baggy cargo pants, the cuffs of which dragged along the carpet, and an ugly, vertical-striped button-down shirt, both of which looked straight out of the Urban Outfitters Outlet. Then she hoisted her thick mane of wavy hair to the top of her head and secured it with a clip. I didn't pay much attention to this routine, though I noticed it because it seemed atypical of the dressing machinations of the morning suits-and-pantyhose crowd at the gym.
I did focus on what came next. After throwing on clothes that even generously can be described only as "schlumpy," the girl spent the next half-hour meticulously adjusting the messy wisps of hair falling out of her coiffe and applying more makeup than I wear in a week to achieve a sunken-eyed, sickly pallor. She was still fine-tuning when I headed to the exit. I walked out feeling amused that she had devoted so much time to conveying the appearance of having just rolled out of bed.
But as I walked up the stairs, I gave myself a mental poke in the ribs for my bitchy thoughts. And I realized that almost twenty years ago, some 33-year-old recovered hippie chick probably had an identical reaction to my teenage punker toilette.
Back in 1985, I spent eons getting ready in the morning, perfecting my look. Yet to the casual onlooker, I'm sure it seemed I had gone straight from my futon to my favorite bench on the Pearl Street Mall, with my poorly dyed mohawk standing spiky over black-rimmed eyes (and green mascara, of course), pale pancake base, dark-lined lips, earlobes full of diaper pins, an old, torn shirt retrieved from my father's castoff pile, a shapeless skirt strategically arranged to display my (ripped) black fishnet stockings, a random assortment of rubber, plastic, and rhinestone bracelets snaking up my arms, and a pair of beat-up combat boots anchoring it all. And boy, did I think I was the shits.
I imagine the girl at the gym knew exactly what level of grungy/messy she was aiming to achieve. And I suspect that when she glides away from the professional-infested waters of the gym and reaches her own world, her carefully cultivated sloppiness conveys readily understood messages to her peers, particularly those of the opposite sex. Just as my punker-babe style was aimed, at least in part, at attracting those bleach-haired, pierce-eared, leather-jacketed, anarchist-wannabe boys with whom I consorted back then, to my parents' thinly-veiled horror. Or perhaps amusement?