An open letter to my cab driver.

Dear Mr. Cabbie,
In order to ensure that our future shared experiences in your cab are mutually beneficial, I ask you to consider the following points.

First, when I approach your cab, please do not take that moment to stub your cigarette out inside your cab, toss the butt out the window, roll the window back up, and exhale that last deliciously smoky breath into the interior of your cab. You get angry and shake your fist at me when I exit your cab in favor of the smoke-free one behind you, so why not save both of us the aggravation, and secure yourself a generous tip, by smoking your cigarette outside the cab in the first place. There's even a trash can conveniently located right next to your vehicle where you can discard the butts. Furthermore, when it is 9:00 at night on a Monday and I do not have the energy to wait for a smoke-free cab, please do not think this gives you license to continue smoking while you drive as long as you keep the window open. I can still smell the smoke, particularly when you insist on turning around as you exhale to apologize for your nicotine addiction.

Second, I will not be insulted if you don't make small talk with me. In fact, nothing would make me happier than to sit in silence for the bulk of our ride. Even if I didn't have the window open in a desperate effort to salvage a breath or two of non-toxic air, and even if you didn't have country music blaring from the radio, and even if you weren't talking with a cigarette clenched between your teeth, I wouldn't be able to understand a word you're saying. And when I suggest to you that I'm both exhausted (Hmm. Why would I be tired when I've just left the office at this hour, in a city where 6:30 counts as "working late?") and hard-of-hearing, please don't take this as a license to babble on incessantly about (well, I'm not sure what. I CAN'T HEAR YOU!) while periodically turning your head to check for my response. While it is true that I might be able to understand you if you turn to face me, it is in both of our interests that you keep your eyes on the road.

Third, I really do not need to tell you what I do for a living. Yes, I do know that you're a cab driver, but a quid pro quo on the occupational front seems unnecessary in order for us to complete the cab-ride transaction. And when I make the mistake of informing you that I'm a lawyer, please don't feel compelled to (a) tell me how much better the world would be if people weren't so litigious; (b) ask me for free legal advice; or (c) tell me that you just got out of jail.

Fourth, when I ask you for $3.00 back on a $10.00 bill, leaving you with more than a 20% tip, please don't feel the need to voice your displeasure. I don't like having to take a taxi home when I work late any more than you like making short trips. Plus, it will only take you eight minutes to get back downtown, where you can wait all night for an airport run.

Thank you for listening. I'll be going inside to collapse now.

Comments

[porsche]

Uniforms should be, should not be required in public schools

[kate]

Not much on my mind recently. Basically nothing seems important. So it goes. Today was a complete loss.