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« Update | Main | And isn't it amazing that you can ride the stairmaster with your foot stuck so far down your throat? »

November 15, 2005



for what it is worth, you have always seemed dynamic and interesting to me and if that isn't cool then I don't know what is


I'm not sure it's so much about being "cool" as it is feeling like you've connected. For the most part, connecting with someone is about who they are, and who you are. But other times our ability to connect with each other affected by less personal, more extrinsic factors - your expectations for a particular occasion, things weighing on your mind that make your priorities differ for awhile, etc. It sounds like you had really high expectations for your dinner date - cooking a meal for friends is always special, hosting people in your brand new home is a big deal, it's one of your first joint efforts as a married couple, etc. Basically sometimes things click and sometimes they don't. I wouldn't take it too seriously unless it happens consistently. If it does, then I'd take a step back and ask if (a) my expectations are off, (b) there's something more serious goingon with the friendship or (c) there's something I'm battling that is independent of the friendship and my friends altogether, but is affecting the way I approach it. Just some thoughts. That's the nice part about a good marriage though - you and Steve can explore it together, so that it becomes about discovery rather than the two of you, bolstering against the outside, so to speak. It's all process, and that process inevitably involves ups and downs . . . :-)

I sometimes have that sensation of uncoolness when I get together with friends from NYC. Since I now live in a location that NYC residents consider "the sticks" and since there aren't any little cool bistros etc. around the corner from where I live, I sometimes feel a little self conscious about my situation. And then I get mad at myself for being childish. There is no reason I should have to justify to my old friends my choice to live in a less hip area than I used to -- but there is part of me that still feels the need to prove my coolness.

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