May 16th.

That’s when I’ll be having the cochlear implant surgery, barring any wacky results from the CT scan I’m having on Friday, or any unexpected insurance glitches.

When Steve and I met with the audiologist and surgeon yesterday, we really weren’t sure what to expect, or even what we wanted to happen. The appointment had been rescheduled so many times, the insurance stuff had been SUCH a hassle, and we were less than optimistic that the surgery could happen without interfering with a great many existing schedule constraints.

But the appointment itself went beautifully. The audiologist was as wonderful as we remembered, and patiently answered all of our questions. We finished the required testing, confirmed my candidacy for the operation (and that digital hearing aids simply do NOT work for me), then turned to the thorny issue of scheduling. Amazingly enough, the surgeon had an opening on May 16, during the only week before late 2006 that Steve and I had agreed would work comfortably for our schedules. I took a deep breath, and let them pencil me in on the calendar.

After we picked a date for me to go under the knife, the audiologist talked us through the pros and cons of the different CI devices.  This was fun - there are only three options, and I was only considering two of those, but we got to look at and handle all the different devices and their many components and accessories. Steve and I make a great team for this aspect of the process, as I know what I want from a hearing/functionality standpoint, and he understands all the technical jargon. Ultimately, I opted to go with Cochlear’s Nucleus Freedom system, mostly because it uses high-powered hearing-aid-style batteries and thus has more flexible portability, whereas the Advanced Bionics system uses rechargeable batteries that require access to an electricity source - problematic for any kind of backpacking or backcountry ski trip of more than two days. I have tentatively ordered one external processor in dark brown and another in a flesh color almost identical to my hearing aid, mostly so that I can tell the primary and back-up devices apart.

While we waited to meet with the surgeon, Dr. Cass, my anxiety returned. I asked Steve why he thought I should have the surgery, given that I do quite well with my current hearing-aid system. He reassured me that the decision was all mine, and that he thinks I am just fine as I am. But he reminded me of how much potential benefit I stand to gain - the doctor and audiologist believe my right ear will eventually surpass my left as my "good ear," which would be a dramatic improvement - and how important better hearing will be as my eyesight continues to dwindle. And, he added, from a gear-geek perspective, the technology is incredibly cool, and it opens up all kinds of new doors for me to better enjoy music, movies, and other media in addition to functioning better in quotidian sound environments.

Dr. Cass put us both immediately at ease with his patient and low-key manner. He didn’t seem to be hard-selling me on the surgery, and he talked us through the risks in plain English and appropriate detail (and he assured us that he has NEVER had an occurrence of the scariest one, partial facial paralysis). Meeting with him, more than anything else in the process, made me feel comfortable about going forward with the surgery.

Of course, I woke up this morning once again wracked with anxiety about the decision, wondering why I am setting myself up for a long process of re-learning how to hear (and all the accompanying audiology visits, out in the BFE of the Fitzsimmons campus) when I’m getting by pretty well with the status quo. But after having a long and positive talk with my boss, exchanging a few confirmatory e-mails with the clinic, and scheduling the CT scan for Friday morning, I’m feeling excited, confident, and emotionally ready to proceed.

Comments

[Sarah]

Great news! It is a long process having to relearn how to listen and understand sounds and words, but you will be amazed at how much progress you make with the CI! As a CI user for 4 years, I can tell you that you won't regret your decision to get the CI, whereas if you stayed with the hearing aids, you would always wonder "what if". Good luck on your surgery!

[Hayley]

Congratulations Mad! I chose the Freedom, too and so far am loving it. Very exciting and keep us posted on how the CT scan goes.

[rebecca]

Mad, it's a huge, scary step but I am optimistic that you will look back on it and feel enormously grateful. I know there is a huge pain in the ass factor, but that part will pass and you'll be left with all the benefit of your hard work and investment. I think it's easy, when you're in your own shoes, to think you're doing fine and not see the possibilities. I got some new aids this year and can't believe how much more I hear with them, yet if you'd asked me whether my old aids were fine, I would have said "yes" without missing a beat. In other words, I think that although you're fine as is, you're going to hear so much better with the surgery. I am super excited for you and will send you LOTS of good vibes all day on the 16th (I'll be driving from Iowa to Austin that day so I'll have lots of free time to think good thoughts for you!).